so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
third nipple confirmed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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