In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
