VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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