Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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