Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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