Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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