So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
