He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Everyone says I win the strip club
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
