Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Four minutes until I can fart!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
