I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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