Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
