Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
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