haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
