Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize