I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
