Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
too bad you live with your parents still
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
