Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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