he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
