my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
