Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
