i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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