I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
