you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
