Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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