I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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