chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
