one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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