i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This house was built for laser tag.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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