Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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