I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
