i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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