I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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