I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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