I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
