Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
