I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
