Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I want her autograph on my taint
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Shame is for Republicans.
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