You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
