I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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