how can u be prego again
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
