if i can run in heels then i can drive
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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