wakey wakey hands off snakey
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
