too bad you live with your parents still
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
