I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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