walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
