My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we're so committed to being not committed
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
