u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
did you just send me my own nude
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