Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
