just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
