Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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