I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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