i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
