i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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