Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
