I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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