That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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