Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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