Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
