can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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